Get Off My Lawn!

(rantings and ravings of a 40-year-old college student)

by Koren Sullivan, Art Major

 

It’s my last semester here at SMCC. I started college in 1992 and I’m finally graduating with my 2-year degree. Hilarious, right? Well, listen, life kinda happened and I landed some really decent jobs without needing to finish my degree. (Remember, this was “back in the day.”) However, I eventually got sick of holding a position that wasn’t what I really wanted to be when I grow up and that’s how I found myself digging in and getting serious about school this time around.

 

Along this wacky journey I’ve discovered a few things about myself. The main thing being that I still don’t really think of myself as a grown up. In my head, I’m just a girl… who can remember things that happened in the 70s. But in reality, I am probably more like that crotchety old neighborhood lady that yells at you to stay off her lawn. I mostly dig being a college student surrounded by, well, normal-aged college students, because you guys are pretty fun. But I’ve gotta admit that sometimes there are things about y’all that just sit in my craw…

 

Here’s a short list of old-lady-like complaints:

  • Cell phones. Everyone– including your teacher– is onto you when you think you’re being sly by texting just under the edge of your desk like that. WTH is up with that? Majorly annoying. Oh, and another thing…
  • Stop complaining that your cell phone gave you bad directions. Oh, I’m sorry… do you mean that your own personal, handheld, GPS-enabled, camera/calculator/computer-thingie of the future is saying that you’re on THAT side of the road when you want it to position you on THIS side?? Tragic.
  • It’s called college, people. How come you guys come to class without your assignments done? And you’ve usually got some ridiculous excuse as to why it just couldn’t happen… I don’t get it. Don’t you know this isn’t high school anymore? You’re here for YOU now. It’s time to start learning… and stop being such jabronies!
  • I am always the only one who will laugh at the instructor’s Back to the Future jokes. Not that they’re not funny, but it’s just that most of you weren’t even born when that movie came out. But I totally remember it like it was yesterday.  Figure out who Doc is and know how many gigawatts of juice it takes to operate the flux capacitor and then let’s talk.
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